Breaking Free: A Journey Through LDS Corrective Therapy

Content Warning: This episode contains explicit content related to corrective therapy, including discussions of inappropriate behavior and emotional distress. Listener discretion is advised.

Not Broken

Hello, wonderful readers! It’s your quirky friend Oddly Robbie here, ready to take you on a rollercoaster ride through one of the most challenging chapters of my life. Buckle up, because today we’re diving into the murky waters of my experiences with LDS corrective therapy, specifically the infamous Evergreen International. Spoiler alert: This story has a powerful message about embracing our true selves and the dangers of trying to “fix” what isn’t broken.

The Beginning of the End

Picture this: Portland, 2014. I was deeply entrenched in the LDS Church and struggling with the seemingly insurmountable challenge of being both Mormon and gay—like trying to mix oil and water. The Church, with its rigid doctrines, was a constant reminder that my true self wasn’t welcome. Enter Evergreen International, a so-called beacon of hope for those of us labeled as needing “correction.”

Evergreen’s mission was to help people diminish same-sex attraction and align their behaviors with the Church’s teachings. It sounded like a lifeline at the time, but little did I know, it was a journey that would test my mental and emotional fortitude.

The Sessions

I remember my first session like it was yesterday. The therapist—recommended by the Church social services—used tactics that made me feel less than human. One memorable (and downright bizarre) moment was when he suggested my issues stemmed from a lack of touch from my dad. His solution? He offered to give me a massage. Yep, you read that right. If that wasn’t sketchy enough, he had me verbalize my thoughts into a tape recorder, planning to “inject” disgusting words into my fantasies. Spoiler: He never got around to it. In hindsight, it was a manipulative scam.

Evergreen International: More Shadows Than Light

Evergreen was all about using the 12-step program, reminiscent of Alcoholics Anonymous, but for those struggling with “same-sex attraction.” Weekly meetings, confessing our struggles in front of an older missionary couple—it felt more like a confessional than a support group. The program’s underlying message was clear: Same-sex attraction was an illness to be cured, not a part of our identity to be accepted.

The turning point came when I realized I wasn’t just fighting to “fix” myself—I was fighting for my very existence. The emotional toll was immense. Evergreen, despite its promises, left me feeling more isolated and broken than ever. But it wasn’t all for naught. This dark chapter led to a pivotal moment of self-acceptance and advocacy.

Exposing the Truth

Years later, I found my voice. I shared my experiences on a satellite radio talk show and in the book *Voices from the Rainbow* (under the pseudonym Leo). Exposing the truth about Evergreen’s harmful practices was cathartic. It was a step towards healing and reclaiming my identity.

The Aftermath and a Call to Action

Evergreen International officially closed in 2014, merging with North Star, an organization that doesn’t claim to change sexual orientation. This shift marked a significant change, but the scars of corrective therapy still linger for many.

Why This Matters

Corrective therapy, in any form, is harmful. It tells individuals that they need to change a fundamental part of who they are to be accepted. My journey through Evergreen is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of embracing our true selves.

A Message of Hope

To anyone out there struggling with their identity: You are not broken. You don’t need fixing. Embrace who you are, love yourself fiercely, and know that you are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are.

Final Thoughts

Sharing this story isn’t just about reflecting on the past; it’s about advocating for a future where no one has to endure the trauma of corrective therapy. Let’s continue to fight for acceptance, understanding, and love for all.

Uff, thanks for coming along on this journey with me. Stay quirky, stay true, and remember—you’re perfect just the way you are.

With love,

Oddly Robbie

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